This Review Reveals Minor Details About the Plot.
Vermont State Motto:
Freedom and Unity
Plot Overview
In the
course of two cold months, Vermont Troopers' Captain Todd Markowski
(Nat Faxton) has his men investigate corn syrup supply
disruption out of Canada while working to improve his non-racist
rhetoric. He gives his troopers boring literature to read and tries
to help retired Captain O'Hagan (Brian Cox) find a hobby. There is
ongoing friction between 25-year rookie Rabbit (Erik
Stolhanske) and new rookie Coy (Andrew Dismukes.) Intra-agency drama
picks up when Sarita Makundan (Hannah Simone,) sister
of Senior Trooper Arcot “Thorny” Ramathorn (Jay
Chandrasekhar,) is rescued from a flaming wreck by stout
State Trooper Rodney Rod Farva (Kevin Heffernan.) In the throes of
White Knight Syndrome, she falls for him big time, but her
disapproving brother tries to thwart the wedding. Things are
picking up between cool Carl (Paul Soter) and his pretty
ex-girlfriend Ursula (Marisa Coughlan.) The troopers do not much
like the new electric patrol vehicle they're saddled with,
especially after it resolutely refuses to violate safety protocols.
These boys having a penchant for
going all out, it's no big surprise that the wedding they build up
to is a triple, two of the nuptials being pretty normal.
Furthermore, since nothing is sacred to these jackwagons
who are patrolling the first state to offer civil unions and
legislate same-sex marriage, one marriage will be a shocker; let's
look at the arc of its development:
The institution of marriage started way back as Jesus referring to it: (Matt. 19:4-5) “that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh.” Consulting scientist Marvin Harris on What is Marriage? we read:
One of the problems with the proposition that the nuclear family is the basic building block of all domestic groups is that it rests on the assumption that widely different forms of matings can be called “marriage.” Yet in order to cover the extraordinary diversity of mating behavior characteristic of the human species, the definition of marriage has to be made so broad as to be confusing. —
Since the term marriage is too useful to drop altogether, a more narrow definition seems appropriate: Marriage denotes the behavior, sentiments, and rules concerned with coresident heterosexual mating and reproduction in domestic contexts.
To avoid offending people by using marriage exclusively for coresident heterosexual domestic mates, a simple expedient is available. Let such other relationships be designated as “noncoresident marriages”, “man-man marriages”, “woman-woman marriages,” or by any other appropriate specific nomenclature. It is clear that these matings have different ecological, demographic, economic, and ideological implications, so nothing is to be gained by arguing about whether they are “real” marriages. (317–18)
Two of the marriages at the end of the movie conform to the norm. Prof. Tamara Metz has recounted, “Reporter Rachel Lehmann-Haupt review[ing] the growing trend of couples turning to close friends and family to officiate at their weddings, facilitated by the easy, online availability of free, instant ordination” (109). I know of at least one couple who has married without official sanction. In our movie under review the best man officiates at the wedding(s).
For a proper definition of marriage,
I'll quote Dr. Ide: “The
Contemporary Christian standard was defined not
by the bible but generated by Roman law as defined by the
jurist Modestinus who argued that marriage was ‘consortium omnis vitae,
divini et humani iuris communicatio: a life-long
partnership, and a sharing of civil and religious
rights’” (83–5). Saint Augustine who figures
large in Catholic and Eastern Orthodox and other circles considered
marriage the start of a domestic church. The state involvement that
came along later would handle the domestic partnership aspect. Ken
Johnson, Th.D. quotes Mathetes—a.d. 130—who studied under the
apostle Paul: “Christians follow the customs of their native
lands in regard to marriage, food, clothing, and conduct. They
marry and have children, but they never have abortions. They obey
all the laws of their country” (86.) At least two witnesses
are required for a marriage, and they were pointed out here as the
parents of the bride. Furthermore, America's first amendment
forbids the state to establish a (domestic) church, so they cannot
be officers of the court per se, which was not a problem here.
The word matrimony derives from the Latin mater meaning mother, and monium meaning the state of, matrimony in the Catholic catechism being the state in which a woman is permitted to enter motherhood. The word marriage doesn't even appear in the catechism, although we use it as a synonym when applied to opposite sexes so united, see 1Cor. 7:2.
New England for its part is culturally Puritan
territory. According to cultural historian David Hackett Fischer
the Puritans regarded marriage not as a sacred
institution, but rather as providing a family
context where its members could socially live out the
grace of God. They had “a cultural idea of marriage that was
unique to the Puritan colonies. … The Puritans of New
England rejected all the Anglican ideas. They believed that
marriage was not a religious but a civil contract” (77). In
the New England states—& NY & DC—the civil contract was the whole kit and
caboodle, so once laws against sodomy were removed it was a simple
matter of equal rights to open (civil) marriage to
homosexuals. The rest of the states did not abide such a redefinition
away from religion, but the courts stepped in to force acceptance.
Author Upton Sinclair has written, “American … culture appeared to him hopelessly tainted by its Puritan origin; it was immature, crude, hopelessly naïve. The qualities of which it was most proud, individualism and reckless competitiveness, made certain that its career in the world would be short” (227). Quoting from the “Catholic Sentinel” of July 3, 2015 (15) concerning the court's decision:
The main opinion recognized in several places the role of religious beliefs in the questions surrounding same-sex marriage. Kennedy said toward the conclusion of his 28-page opinion that “it must be emphasized that religions, and those who adhere to religious doctrines, may continue to advocate with utmost, sincere conviction that, by divine precepts, same-sex marriage should not be condoned.”
The First Amendment ensures protection for religious organizations and individuals as they seek to teach the principles “that are so fulfilling and so central to their lives and faiths,” he continued, and to “their own deep aspirations to continue the family structure they have long revered. The same is true of those who oppose same-sex marriage for other reasons.”
The third marriage sprung
on us at the end of ST3
is one between a man-jack and an intelligent machine. We see
man-machine marriages all over the place in real life, just not
formally recognized, as say an astronaut and his capsule, an
assassin and his rifle, or a hunter & his spear in a
Benjamin Percy novel:
At the sound of their footsteps, the snake coils up like a pile of rope to face them. Its tail buzzes out another warning that Justin's father silences by whipping the spear forward as though it were an extension of his arm. It pierces the rattler cleanly through the head and tacks it to the ground. (99)
To the question, Do you
take so-and-so to be your husband, the computer responded that it
didn't understand, so the man answered, “We
do,” for the both of them. The other two couples understood
the question well enough, which is what mattered to them. The
marriage decree, we suppose, gave the machine access to its
“partner” in a medical emergency, which it probably
could get anyway. Its besotted lover married it out of the
White Knight Syndrome after it had saved his life. One of the other
couples did the same, but not both. It's not motivation that
defines marriages.
Production Values
“” (2026) was directed by Jay Chandrasekhar. It was written by Jay Chandrasekhar, Kevin Heffernan and Steve Lemme. It stars Jay Chandrasekhar, Kevin Heffernan, Steve Lemme, Paul Soter, and Erik Stolhanske. If you don't get enough of their stupidity in the main movie, stay for the Blooper Reel.
MPA rated it R for sexual content, nudity, language throughout and drug content. It's about the same as the first two offerings but more so. Runtime is 1¾ hours.
Review Conclusion w/a Christian's Recommendation
Some might choke on this raunchy
comedy as one man did on the wedding dinner lobster, but others
will find it entertaining. Suit yourself.
Movie Ratings
Action factor: Decent action scenes. Suitability For Children: Not Suitable for Children of Any Age. Special effects: Well done special effects. Video Occasion: Better than watching TV. Suspense: Keeps you on the edge of your seat. Overall movie rating: Three and a half stars out of five.
Works Cited
Scripture is taken from the King James Version. Pub. 1611, rev. 1769. Print. Software.
Fischer, David Hackett. Albion's Seed: Four British Folkways in America. New York: Oxford UP, 1989. Print, Web.
Harris, Marvin. CULTURE, PEOPLE, NATURE: An Introduction to General Anthropology fifth edition. New York: Harper & Row Publishers, 1988. Print.
Ide, Arthur Frederick. Noah & the Ark: The Influence of Sex, Homophobia and Heterosexism in the Flood Story and its Writing. Las Colinas: Monument Press, 1992. Print.
Lehmann-Haupt, Rachel. “Need a Minister? How about Your Brother?” New York Times, 12 Jan. 2003, late edition, sec. 9, 1+. As quoted in Tamara Metz.
Mathetes, Epistle to Diognetus 5. Quoted in Ken Johnson, Ancient Church Fathers. Copyright 2010 by Ken Johnson. San Bernadino, CA, 07 April 2018. Download print.
Metz, Tamara. Untying the Knot: Marriage, the State, and the Case for Their Divorce. Princeton, NJ: Princeton UP, 2010. Print.
Percy, Benjamin. The Wilding. Copyright © 2010 by Benjamin Percy. Minneapolis: Graywolf Press, 2010. Print.
Sinclair, Upton. Dragon Harvest. Copyright Upton Sinclair, 1945. New York: Viking Press, 1945. Print.
bibles.n7nz.org