Movie: Row Your Boat

This Review Reveals Minor Details About the Plot.

Gently Downstream

Plot Overview

A round song can be sung in two or more parts, each with the same words and beat, but the oral portions are on different lines. “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” is a standard. It has to do with rowing steadily down­stream toward some unspecified goal. The goal in this movie is prosperity and the parts acted out by East, West and Underworld.

In a Beijing university an archi­tecture major in his Junior year has to study hard, but his critical exams are more than a year away and he gets his girl­friend Chun Hua (Bai Ling) pregnant. In China sexual immorality causes severe loss of face to the entire family, but they are lax regarding abortion. Chun Hua, how­ever, refuses to get one, so her family arranges her a marriage to an “important businessman and party member” (Huan Wang) who brings her to America with him figuring her for an asset in his social cum business dealings, having a pretty young thing on his arm. When she was slug­gish playing her part, he tells her she was “acting like a stupid peasant girl.” She replies, “I act like a stupid peasant girl because I am one.” She writes letters to her boy­friend in China but doesn't send them.

Just released from prison on a bum rap: Jamey Meadows (Jon Bon Jovi) laments about having a blot on his record now. His new long­suf­fering boss big Pete complains, “All I got is niggers and retards; no wonder they let you out of prison.” When Jamey complains to Pete about his using “that word,” he fires “Mr. Sensitive.”

In a 1970 party primer we're shown the communists advocating for a class struggle on behalf of the “poor, workers, and lower-middle peasants.” In America, like­wise, there are three minor steps the “niggers & retards”—read stupid peasants—must take up the ladder to success. These are: begging, day labor, and seasonal work. Jamey has worked his way up to 1998 census taking when his door-to-door encounters in New York bring him into contact with Chun Hua. Hubba! Hubba! He supple­ments this seasonal labor with day work teaching her English.

He brings her to the apartment of his thieving brother Gil (William Forsythe) pretending it's his own. There are stacks of stolen portable CD players in their original boxes lined up against the wall, and he gives her one. In the market she steals some CDs (“I'm criminal.”) Her important husband is not allowed to stock his brown­stone with decadent western commodities, and their assigned Chinese domestic (Diane Chang) is, of course, a party informant. The lonely girl would like some music.

Gil's girl­friend Patti (Jill Hennessy) is also his book­keeper. Going over his books she compares the amount of money that goes through his fingers with what he spends on her and discovers, “You're cheap.” Chun Hua's husband, on the other hand, is frugal with what he spends on him­self and their digs, but he buys her the most lavish dresses and she looks good in them. That's justifiable as a business expense.

Jamey declined to join Gil in his illegal enterprise because he didn't want to rob people. Gil told him he wasn't robbing people but robbing things: cars, houses, and businesses. Okay, but the next step is human trafficking where the person becomes the “item of value.” And the earlier step is a kid patrol­ling as look­out, and even he makes more than Jamey.

Ideology

King Solomon offered the fatherly advice: (Prov. 1:10-19) “My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not. If they say, Come with us, let us lay wait for blood, let us lurk privily for the innocent without cause: Let us swallow them up alive as the grave; and whole, as those that go down into the pit: We shall find all precious substance, we shall fill our houses with spoil: Cast in thy lot among us; let us all have one purse: My son, walk not thou in the way with them; refrain thy foot from their path: For their feet run to evil, and make haste to shed blood. Surely in vain the net is spread in the sight of any bird. And they lay wait for their own blood; they lurk privily for their own lives. So are the ways of every one that is greedy of gain; which taketh away the life of the owners thereof.” Robbery too easily escalates into murder and/or the demise of the robber(s.)

Production Values

“” (1999) was written and directed by Sol­lace Mitchell. It stars Jon Bon Jovi, Bai Ling and William For­sythe who all played well off one another. Jill Hennessy is a funny and sexy moll. Bai Ling looked great in various hair styles she changed every day. She was easy on the eyes and pleasant on the ears.

This film was not rated but it does contain a graphic stabbing by a black man at night, so I'd not recommend it to the young or sensitive. It contains “that word” uttered by an employer, which is his prerogative easily defended. A greedy pan­handler wanted a five-spot not a one, which didn't do his cause any good.

The writing was fantastic, the editing not so much. The back­ground contains a couple kissing on a park bench and a girl strolling with a female friend kissing her on the cheek. This prepares us to accept a cross-culture kiss where one side would not other­wise have been prepared for it with­out the western influence. Runtime is 1¾ hours.

Review Conclusion w/a Christian's Recommendation

Gil is shown attending mass with his cynical girl­friend, but Jamey tells him he never did know the difference between right and wrong. Jamey (“You should go to church”) stopped attending some­where along the line but seems to have his conscience still informed by it. Chun Hua has a picture of the buddha on her wall.

This is a nicely done film carried by the actors. There's enough humor in it that we can't take it too seriously, though it seems to be set up for tragedy. It had a stiff corpse, a cute baby, and galloping illegals.

Movie Ratings

Action factor: Decent action scenes. Suitability For Children: Not Suitable for Children of Any Age. Special effects: Average special effects. Video Occasion: Good for a Rainy Day. Suspense: Predictable. Overall movie rating: Three stars out of five.