Plot Details: This Review Reveals Minor Details About the Plot.
Hang on, sir.
Plot Overview
The opening scene is set in a London nightclub where a tray of flaming drinks passes by and we see negotiating for a pricey vase on the table, art dealer “I am many things” Charlie Mortdecai (Johnny Depp) and a gangster named Fang (Junix Inocian.) They settle on a million £, a cheque is placed on the table, but as Mortdecai reaches for it, the gangster makes to cut off one of his digits as reparation for having been duped in their last transaction. Mortdecai protests that although he'd done some wheeling and dealing, it was “never an outright monte bank.” His manservant Jock Strapp [!] (Paul Bettany) intervenes before any slicing takes place, and the bar brawl that ensues makes quick work of the delicate vase while the fire takes care of the cheque.
Charlie is “staring down the barrel of insolvency” on account of unpaid taxes (“I had no idea I was so deep in Her Majesty's hole!”) necessitating “selling my prize possessions.” Opportunity knocks when MI–5 Inspector Alistair Martland (Ewan McGregor) calls upon his old college friend Mortdecai to provide an in to the art world (“Why did it have to be art?”) to help him recover a stolen Goya that conceals some Nazi financial codes … which criminal Emil Strago (Jonny Pasvolsky) is also after. “I've given you a lot of rope over the years,” Martland tells Mortdecai, “but now you're dangling off the end of it.” He consents to a 10% finder's fee. Others in the art world pick up the scent and are soon after the same picture. What follows is a veritable international game of three-card monte where the "cards" being shuffled are paintings, and who knows which "shell" hides the pea?
The plot is further complicated because Martland is still carrying a torch for Mortdecai's gorgeous wife Johanna (Gwyneth Paltrow.) She fell for the longhair bad boy in college who became a seedy art dealer, rather than for the straitlaced poet who went into law enforcement. Mortdecai has merely combed back his long hair, but now feeling the pull of family convention he is sporting a mustache that Johanna can't stand. Martland sees their marital row as his own opportunity, so he sends Mortdecai off on a fool's errand.
Ideology
The Wisdom books of the Apocrypha are accepted by the Protestants
for edification purposes though they are not included in the canon.
Among them is Ecclesiasticus, also known as The Wisdom of
the Son of Sirach. Portions seem applicable to “Mortdecai”
as follows: (Sirach 2:4-5) Whatsoever
is brought upon thee
take cheerfully, and be patient when thou art changed to a low
estate. For gold is tried in the fire, and acceptable men in the furnace
of adversity.
That seems to be his tale throughout and he
does keep the British stiff upper lip, as he tells his moustache-shy wife, “The domain of a man's upper
lip is his sovereign ground.”
(Sirach 4:29) Be
not hasty in thy tongue, and in thy deeds slack and remiss.
He heaps
praise on his manservant Jock and at one point has a chance to show
his appreciation, albeit at some danger to himself.
(Sirach 4:30) Be
not as a lion in thy house, nor frantick among thy servants.
He's far from overbearing towards
Johanna, to the point of being deferential (“With your permission, dear”),
and he treats his manservant Jock with equanimity to the point
of being aloof (“Man
down.”)
(Sirach 4:31) Let
not thine hand be stretched out to receive, and shut when thou shouldest
repay.
He does like to see a profit on his business, but he still needs
to pay those back taxes.
(Ecclesiasticus 8:16)
Strive
not with an angry man, and go
not with him into a solitary place: for blood is as nothing in his
sight; and where there is no help, he will overthrow thee.
He has some bad guys come after him from whom he would do well to
escape and not go with them.
(Sirach 9:1) Be
not jealous over the wife of thy
bosom, and teach her not an evil lesson against thyself.
He had
no cause to doubt his faithful wife, but it might have been
self-defeating to pretend he was in a brothel when phoning her from a
California hotel with thin walls and energetic guests.
(Sir. 9:2-3) Give
not thy soul unto a woman to set
her foot upon thy substance. Meet not with an harlot, lest thou
fall into her snares.
It would probably be a mistake for him
to meet with known nymphomaniac Georgina (Olivia Munn) who has
her own designs on the treasure.
(Sir. 9:5) Gaze
not on a maid, that thou fall not by those things that are precious in her.
Georgina was something to behold on the big screen, but it's a danger
for Mortdecai to.
(Sir. 9:6) Give
not thy soul unto harlots, that
thou lose not thine inheritance.
One insult Mortdecai gives a
hoodlum after the goods is, “Your mother and father only knew each other for a day, and
money changed hands.”
(Sir. 9:8) Turn
away thine eye from a beautiful
woman, and look not upon another's beauty; for many have been deceived
by the beauty of a woman; for herewith love is kindled as a fire.
Yeah, Georgina was a sight, alright.
(Sir. 9:9) Sit
not at all with another man's wife,
nor sit down with her in thine arms, and spend not thy money with
her at the wine; lest thine heart incline unto her, and so through
thy desire thou fall into destruction.
Mortdecai was caught in
a compromising embrace with Georgina, and Martland entertained
Johanna over wine (“Is this a tryst?”).
(Sir. 9:10) Forsake
not an old friend; for the
new is not comparable to him: a new friend is as new wine; when it
is old, thou shalt drink it with pleasure.
The friendship
between the two old college buddies was worth maintaining though they
were on opposite sides of the law at times.
(Sir. 9:13) Keep
thee far from the man that hath
power to kill; so shalt thou not doubt the fear of death: and if thou
come unto him, make no fault, lest he take away thy life presently:
remember that thou goest in the midst of snares, and that thou walkest
upon the battlements of the city.
Mortdecai was dealing with
some seedy dangerous characters who at times needed to be appeased,
and he was not altogether safe from them backstage at the auction
at Sedgwick's.
Production Values
“Mortdecai” (2015) was directed by David Koepp. Its screenplay was written by Eric Aronson based on Kyril Bonfiglioli's novel, Don't Point That Thing at Me, the first in a series of four comic thrillers he wrote in the 1970s. It stars Johnny Depp, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Ewan McGregor. All the actors were fantastic. Jock played by Paul Bettany was especially noteworthy.
MPAA rated it R for some language and sexual material. It was filmed in part at Old Royal Naval College, Greenwich, London, England. Mortdecai's opening comments about being an art dealer, accomplished fencer, and fair shot with most weapons are taken directly from Kyril Bonfiglioli's book jacket author biography. The movie Mortdecai, however, seems somewhat physically inept. The film's aesthetics are beautiful, the signal cinematography by Florian Hoffmeister veritably glows. The movie relies on various affectations that being an acquired taste is not easily developed until its finish, although immediately appreciated are its quick pace and some fun scenes with Gwyneth Paltrow. The staging is funny and the traveling scenes cute. It had a jazzy soundtrack, the music groovy throughout. There are glimmers of clever semantic scrambling, and the mustache gag is perfect in its cheesiness.
Review Conclusion w/ Christian Recommendation
I'm easy to please, but this one was difficult for me to swallow as I had very little media exposure during the 1970s when its style of humor was developed. I found myself liking it at the very end, but I'd rather there not be any sequels. If you have any kind of quirky taste and a forgiving sense of humor, you might like it, but if you're already jaded, forget it. Johnny Depp maintained his character throughout, so we can't blame him. Here he's a lover and a sophisticate trapped in the wrong decade, if not the wrong century.
Movie Ratings
Action factor: Well done action flick. Suitability For Children: Not Suitable for Children of Any Age. Special effects: Well done special effects. Video Occasion: Good Date Movie. Suspense: Some suspenseful moments. Overall product rating: three and a half stars out of five.
Works Cited
Apocryphal scripture taken from The Septuagint with Apocrypha: Greek and English. U.S.A.: Hendrickson Pub. Originally published by Samuel Bagster & Sons, Ltd., London, 1851. Print, WEB.
bibles.n7nz.org