This Review Reveals Minor Details About the Plot.
College @ Sea
Plot Overview
Billingsley U. sophomores—erstwhile freshmen from
“Dorm
Daze”—are continuing their education in their school's
study-at-sea program. A svelte, negress playwright Robin Daniels
(China Jesusita Shavers) hopes to win the coveted Dobmeyer Prize in the
Student Written Play Competition, which would be a feather in her cap on
behalf of her sex and her race. We're not sure how that will work out as
her play, “Death by Blackout,” is a blatant rip-off of
Agatha Christie's, Murder
on the Orient Express, but we'll leave that to the judges.
The other finalist is Woodson U.'s
“Womanizing Object”—“it's po mo,
post-modern,” whatever that means. Robin's immediate problem
is ditsy actress Lynne (Jennifer Lyons) playing a scientist who keeps
dropping the glass, stage diamond she's to hold aloft, shattering
it. The prop master has a whole bag of them to cover for it.
Traveling with them on the cruise is
an archaeology Professor Rexford Cavendish (Charles Shaughnessy)
who was the last person to study the Pharaoh's Heart Diamond before
it was stolen. He's now planning to study the ruins on Desoro Negros,
but the ship's Captain Bunkley (Richard Riehl) diverted them to San
Paradiso when he learned there were no significant ruins there, just
a “thriving black market for stolen goods.” The professor
charters a boat. Some students acquire a “klepto monkey”
trained to lift valuable trinkets from tourists, but it mostly just
grabs junk. On the ship it retrieves the real diamond that gets tossed in
the bag with the fake ones for the play. There's supposedly a death curse
on that diamond, and there's also a death written into the play.
Sometimes life—or should we say death—imitates art. The
professor kept locked in a safe, photos of said diamond, sandwiched
between the leaves of a book whose cover & binding resemble those of a
Bible.
A coterie of hotties have started an abstinence support group including
a couple “born again virgins” derived somehow from the
Bible, we suppose. They are saving themselves for marriage, or at
least trying to. Throughout the ship are plenty of examples of those
who aren't, including rumors of the captain's wife Mrs. Bunkley
(Jasmine St. Clair) whose closets hide men in shocking stages of undress.
Come the play's performance, we see all these intrigues converge on the stage willy nilly, reinventing the drama on the fly so there's no problem with plagiarism of a Christie story, just the question of whether it was Robin who wrote it and not the actors and their subs. It was a veritable cattywampus, rip-roaringly funny.
Ideology
It soon becomes evident that the men want their women to behave like sluts … until they marry them and then they wish they were virgins, but wishing doesn't make it so. Captain Bunkley procures the Pharaoh's Heart Diamond to give to Mrs. Bunkley in tribute to her purity, not realizing she has a sordid history—as “Summer Solstice the porn star”—that she's keeping from him. Thanks to the curse the widow is “just Summer now” who shows her true colors as in, (Prov. 30:20) “Such is the way of an adulterous woman; she eateth, and wipeth her mouth, and saith, I have done no wickedness.” The men have lined up all around the inside of her quarters having each picked a number from a handy dispenser, to be thrown away after they're done, no regrets.
Production Values
“” (Video 2006) was directed by David Hillenbrand and Scott Hillenbrand. It was written by Pat Casey and Josh Miller. It stars Gable Carr, Pat Casey and Patrick Cavanaugh. Two nieces of the director appear in cameo next to the abstinence sign at the beginning. The whole movie was idiotic and the acting on a par with the trained monkey. Some of the co-eds were particularly captivating, but it's hard for me to say whether it was their acting or their looks.
MPAA rated it R for strong sexuality, nudity, language and drug use. Runtime was 1 hour 40 minutes. It was filmed on the docked Queen Mary.
Review Conclusion w/a Christian's Recommendation
I thought this one was funny throughout unlike most sequels. If that's what you're into, be my guest.
Movie Ratings
Action factor: Decent action scenes. Suitability For Children: Not Suitable for Children of Any Age. Special effects: Well done special effects. Video Occasion: Fit For a Friday Evening. Suspense: Keeps you on the edge of your seat. Overall movie rating: Five stars out of five.
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