Movie: My Best Friend's Girl

This Review Reveals Minor Details About the Plot.

Bachelor No. 2

Plot Overview

Lovely Rachel (Diora Baird) finishing a date-from-hell with suave Tank Turner (Dane Cook) offers him ten reasons why there won't be any follow-up:

1. He was an hour late picking her up.
2. He played his car stereo too loud with obnoxious music.
3. The live music at the restaurant was irksome.
4. He was a poor conversationalist.
5. The tainted food made her sick.
6. He stuck her with the check.
7. He employed negative stereotypes.
8. He drove recklessly on the way home.
9. He (double) parked in the handicapped spot(s).
10. He wanted to end the night with “angry sex.”

And that's not to mention his bad table manners and neglected toilet training. Rachel phones her dumped boy­friend Josh (Taran Killam) to apologize for not realizing how good he was compared to other guys. Josh takes the call on his cell, in a bar, as he is forking over some dough to … Tank whom he'd hired to teach her a valuable lesson. Tank works by referrals to make rejected boy­friends look good after their girls get a taste of him.

Against Tank's better judgment, he agrees to do the same for his best friend and room­mate Dustin (Jason Biggs) whose love-interest Alexis (Kate Hudson) has been keeping the putz at arm's length. Unfortunately, Alexis's room­mate Ami (Lizzy Caplan) has been encouraging her to get more experience with bad boys, so she starts shtupping Tank. Further­more, she's sisters with Rachel who will recognize Tank at her's & Josh's wedding, as will other referrals including Dustin. A lot of chickens come home to roost there.

Ideology

Let's compare Tank to mysterious Agur a member of the North Arabian tribe of Massa, whose sayings were appen­ded to the Proverbs of Solo­mon, pre­served by the Jews in their Tanakh, ap­prop­riated by Christians in their Bible, and even­tually sneaked into movies subject to my reviews. (Prov. 30:1) “The words of Agur the son of Jakeh, even the prophecy: the man spake unto Ithiel, even unto Ithiel and Ucal.” In sacred scriptures recounting the sayings of saints, priests, prophets, and wise men, Agur's seem to be nothing more than guy-talk, which is on the level of Tank and the guys.

(Prov. 30:2-3) “Surely I am more brutish than any man, and have not the under­standing of a man. I neither learned wisdom, nor have the knowledge of the holy.” Tank is similarly Neanderthal and not the brightest bulb in the drawer.

(Prov. 30:4) “Who hath ascended up into heaven, or descended? who hath gathered the wind in his fists? who hath bound the waters in a garment? who hath established all the ends of the earth? what is his name, and what is his son's name, if thou canst tell?” This one verse contrasts Agur's rudimentary ruminations with classier material one may discover else­where in the holy book. “Who hath ascended up into heaven, or descended?” means who would be privy to heavenly councils. In “My BFF's Girl” Tank and Dustin and Tank's father Professor Turner (Alec Baldwin) climb up to a sky terrace to have a private pow wow. It's out­side the ears of the public.

“Who hath gathered the wind in his fists?” refers to manipulating the invisible realm (i.e. air.) Tank is “a customer satis­faction rep at Air­meister air filtration systems.” Their policy is nø refunds because it can't be proved their units don't work. Air is invisible.

“Who hath bound the waters in a garment?” refers to couching one form of matter (liquid) inside another (solid) as in clouds (vapor) holding rain (liquid.) In “My BFF's” it's a “big, mothering, life-giving breast” worked into a humorous exchange between Dustin and his lactating blind date.

“Who hath established all the ends of the earth?” refers to breadth of influence. In our movie we have a Mariachi band (Mexican) playing “Danny Boy” (Irish.)

“What is his name?” refers to an inside scoop. You wouldn't know the students call Prof. Turner “a regular Oprah” unless you attended his Women's Studies class. “And what is his son's name, if thou canst tell?” Like­wise, you wouldn't know that Tank's given name is Sherman—as in Sherman Tank—unless you over­heard a family conversation with his dad.

There's all kinds of elevated wisdom to be had, but not from Agur or from Tank. Guy talk is their limit. What Agur has to offer us, preserved in holy writ of Proverbs 30, starts off with, (Prov. 30:5-6) “Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him. Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.” Trusting the Bible is not a bad place to start. One oft-quoted verse is, “The truth will make you free,” which passage in its entirety reads, (John 8:31-32) “Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” It seems to me the promise was given with some qualifications, but it has got loose and shows up in all kinds of places. It's above the entrance of the Knight Library here at the U. of Oregon. It graces the front of the CIA building in Langley, VA. The professor in this movie embellishes it with, “The truth will set you free but before it does, it's gonna piss you off!” What­ever. It's probably best just to stick with the sacred dialect of the KJV so we're less likely to add our own vernacular to it.

Production Values

“” (2008) was directed by Howard Deutch. Its screen­writer was Jordan Cahan. It stars Dane Cook, Kate Hudson, Jason Biggs, and Alec Baldwin. Baldwin is terrific as a stunted father his grown brat of a son has no trouble living up to. Hudson is delight­fully cringe­worthy as a fallen angel (“I'm a serial monog­amous”) who maintains her glow regard­less of her fall. The rest of the slime­ball parts were pulled off so swell it's criminal.

MPAA rated it R for strong language and sexual content through­out, including graphic dialogue and some nudity. The UK DVD release in 2009 waived all the cuts made to the cinema version and got it passed as '18'. Its run­time is 101 min., 112 min. (unrated, which is the one I review.)

My Lionsgate DVD includes in its Special Features, “A to Z: Professor Turner's Sexist Rating System” Featurette. He has replaced the déclassé 1–10 rating system for objectifying women with a more precise A–Z system. This latest is discussed by various characters along with illustrated examples (“Back in the day Aunt Sofie was zaftig, she could really hang a sun­dress”) and pros & cons. Crude line drawings were used to further objectify women. Enjoy.

Review Conclusion w/a Christian's Recommendation

Of interest to a Christian audience would be the portrayal of a Christian girl Hilary (Riki Lindhome) in one of Tank's machinations. He necessarily takes her to a pizza joint bound to offend, Cheesus Crust, “where pizza is a religious experience.” There's a mural on the wall depicting the Lord at the last supper passing out pizza (“He had to eat.”) Hilary is “deeply offended” and leaves (“This is wrong,”) but not before she turns around and tells the patrons, “You people are sinners!” Their heavily pierced server rejoins, “You people should have thought about that nine­teen years ago before you stopped my mother from going into that clinic! Have a blessed day.”

Tank catches up to her and they have a heart to heart talk. After he explains what he's all about, she puts the best spin on it, saying, “In a cruel, twisted way you give couples a second chance.” This movie makes the one Christian in it look good, which is more than I can say about a lot of movies I've seen. Other than that it explores the dark side. Make up your minds accordingly.

Movie Ratings

Suitability For Children: Not Suitable for Children of Any Age. Action factor: Decent action scenes. Special effects: Average special effects. Video Occasion: Good for a Rainy Day. Suspense: Predictable. Overall movie rating: Three stars out of five.