This Review Reveals Minor Details About the Plot.
Hell Uptake at Bell Lake
Plot Overview
Bell Lake, Washington, 1876. Necromancer Jackson
McDowell (Daniel Dasent) stole a church bell, not for its scrap metal
value as was supposed, but to use in “an unholy rite”
along with the blood of three sacrificial virgins to open a portal
to hell. It would grant him immortality and power over his zombies.
One of the girls' fathers, Hank (Randy Couture) put a kibosh on his
plans but achieved a ricochet immortality and is on a crusade to rid
the world of its demons infested as a side effect. Whenever
someone at midnight rings the stupid bell, the demons emerge.
Bell Lake Campground is using a version of this myth as
a gimmick to attract guests, but it is now the off season. Body-building,
axe-wielding Hank has 31 32 and counting demon-host
trophies on his cabin wall.
Present day in the Pacific Northwest.
Stunted stoner Liam (Reid Miller) having dropped out of school is
raising medical marijuana in the Winnebago inherited from his cancerous
gramps. He's roused from sleep by his domineering older brother Matthew
(Mike Manning,) Matt's feminist girlfriend Holly (Cathy Marks,)
his colored friend Gabriel (Capri-Antoine Vaillancourt,) and
the latter's Latina lover Megan (Alexis B. Santiago.) They want to use his
wheels for a road trip to document on film urban legends of various
sorts—one of them carried by Gabe in his pants (“My shaft is
haunted”) and another by Megan in her “sex-positivity”
mind. Their first stop is Bell Lake where they bump into lesbian trekker
Brittany Beaumont (Kathleen Kenny) who's searching for her missing brother
Gary (Nick Theurer) who'd met Hank in the opening scene after having rung the
bell at midnight. Some of the crew ring it too and all hell breaks loose.
Ideology
Brittany describes herself as lonely calling her dead mom's answering machine to hear her voice. Liam is a recluse lacking social skills when it comes to women. Hank has been by himself for a hundred years. They might want to consider teaming up. (Eccl. 4:9-12) “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
They'd have mutual satisfaction if their ghostbusting works. If one gets in trouble, the other will lend him a hand. Liam and Brittany can huddle together for warmth in the walk-in freezer. Late-to-the-party Sheriff Carlson (Chaz Bono) originally opposed their quest, but if they can bring him on board, why, then they'd have three whole virgins—if we count the loophole lesbian—with which to counter the spell. Awesome!
Production Values
“The Bell Keeper” (2023) was directed by Colton Tran. It was written by Joe Davison and revised by Luke Genton. It stars Randy Couture, Kathleen Kenny and Reid Miller. The acting was fair to middling, some playing double parts if one counts the conversions.
The movie is unrated, but you get the drift. The
special effects were quite good, the dismemberments were
graphic, and the music was eerie. It was filmed through drifting mist on a
full moon night. The bell was a macguffin. Runtime is 1½ hours. I
rented a copy from Redbox.
Review Conclusion w/a Christian's Recommendation
This slasher/demon/road-trip flick works for
Halloween but lacks substance otherwise. I enjoy the whole holiday
season kicked off by the Day of the Dead like a nail-biting takeoff before
an over-the-pole flight. It's fun-scary and won't keep you up at night.
Movie Ratings
Action factor: Decent action scenes. Suitability for children: Not rated, self-evident. Special effects: Well done special effects. Video Occasion: Night fright. Suspense: Keeps you on the edge of your seat. Overall movie rating: Three stars out of five.
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